I just realised there’s so many things a publisher can rant about, endlessly. I’ll try not to, after all this is supposed to be informative rather than merely a place to vent my frustrations.
Every time I’ve been to a writing group or club, and the question of submitting work to a publisher or a short story to a magazine or newspaper comes up, there is always one person who makes the same comment – a very pertinent one. Read the submissions guidelines and follow them. It’s not exactly rocket science is it?
Actually, for some would be authors, it is. Please note the use of the would be there. Let me quote you some examples.
Our submission guidelines are actually fairly simple; send us the complete manuscript attached as a word document or rich text file, in a readable font, with some simple methods of formatting together with a short synopsis and author bio in the body of the e-mail, telling us the word count and genre. We also very clearly state we accept electronic submissions only.
Now, sometimes people will already have the bio and synopsis as part of the attachment so don’t want to repeat them. That’s reasonable, not preferred but liveable. We say a readable font, simply because many people don’t change their default font in their word processor so it could be Arial, Times New Roman, Garamond or Calibri. Again not a big fuss and we won’t nit-pick over it.
SOME PUBLISHERS DO – and in which case it’s a rejection, assuming they even bother to answer you in the first place.
Let me give you some recent examples of queries or even submissions we’ve had and the responses:
• A PDF attachment – please resubmit.
• “I’m thinking about writing a book, where do I start? – We are not a tuition group.
• A short story manuscript containing 11 different fonts – please resubmit.
• Please find attached the first chapter of my book, I wonder if you would critique it for me – NO
• Please find attached my ... (no attachment) – I think you forgot to attach it.
• I have attached the first three chapters of my future best-seller which I’m writing – Hello, can you please read the submissions guidelines.
• If I submit my book to you how many thousands of copies per month would you guarantee I would sell over the next two years? – Had to think very carefully about the answer – ZERO. Think about it - how do we know how good the book is?
I think you get the picture.
We were closed for submissions during May and June while we brought our work in progress numbers down. During that time we had a number of submission queries – well that’s okay. We also had five submissions from complete strangers. Oh dear.
Perhaps a lot of would be authors should go to literacy classes – and learn to read!
An acquaintance of mine one summed up the job of submissions editor very well, and he’s been doing the job much longer than I have.
Reading can be compared to drinking water.
As a normal reader, you go to the tap, turn it on, and fill a glass and drink.
As a submissions reader, I go to a broken underground pipe, place my mouth over the end and suck lustily. If I'm lucky I get something sweet and tasty. If not...
His actual words were rather pithier than this.
Not a pleasant image, but seriously ... its true!
LOL! Though I'm sure sometimes it isn't funny from your end. What do you do if you're functionally illiterate? Write a novel!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jennie. It's funny to us but I doubt you're laughing as you wade through that mess.
ReplyDeleteALWAYS read the submission guidelines and FOLLOW THEM. Address the query to the right person. Rocket scientists need not apply...
As an engineer I've had to write many test routines for electronic equipment and I've come to the conclusion that some people just cannot follow instructions. They either do things that aren't necessary, leave out important steps or simply do things wrong. It must be some sort of blind spot or dyslexia. Like death and taxes - I think you just have to accept it.
ReplyDelete@Jennie and Deborah - sometimes it's frustrating, sometimes it's just funny. Depends on the mood at the time I suppose.
ReplyDelete@"Dream it" - for sure. No one ever reads the manual or instuctions.
Also David, sometimes common sense does need to be applied. I did once apply for the job of proof reader and forgot to proofread the application. I did, however, get back my application with every typo highlighted in red with an explanation of what I had done wrong. I was not sure whether to jump off a bridge or pass out from shame. I did neither, but since then I also haven't made that mistake again.
ReplyDelete